Social Anxiety Stigma & Misconceptions

 

Source: Buoy Health

Much like with introversion, social anxiety is something that receives a lot of stigma and misconceptions, doubtless because people with either of these are not conforming to certain standards and expectations of society. An important part of this is the definitions getting mixed up, because while of course both social anxiety and introversion may share a few things in common, such as not wanting to participate in certain social situations or contexts, they are very much two separate things. Social Anxiety is a mental health condition that involves a fear or discomfort of certain social situations, while Introversion is a personality trait that involves preferring solitude to the company of many people, and gains more energy from the inner-world of thoughts and feelings as opposed to the outer-world of other people. Introversion is not a fear or phobia, but rather a natural trait, preference and lifestyle of solitude or smaller groups to the company of many people. They certainly have their share of traits in common for sure, and many introverts do no doubt also have social anxiety, like myself, but as Kelly (2022) on Talkspace states, extroverts are certainly not exempt from social anxiety. Although there does not appear to be any statistics on this as of yet, which is a potential gap to address in research. As Kelly further highlights, because extroverts often greatly value being liked by others, this may result in them overthinking and ruminating about how they are perceived.

Much like with the ridiculous notion that introversion is something that needs to be “fixed”, that introverts simply need to stop being so introverted and become more extroverted, there also appears to be this equally ridiculous notion that those with social anxiety need to stop being so socially anxious and become “socially awesome”. While social anxiety is something that may need help and support with overcoming, it does definitely not mean that you should overcome it to the point of going from one extreme to another. This was piqued by this post I saw on Meetup once, advertising an online meetup that was titled “How to go from being Socially Anxious to Socially Awesome”. It then went on to say things like “we can help you so that instead of spending your nights alone at home, you can instead start going out mingling and meeting people, feeling like a whole new person.” Not only did this imply a great deal of stigma towards those with social anxiety, that being socially anxious is a bad thing and that you should be socially confident instead, or “socially awesome”, but it also really undermines the concept of self-acceptance and self-concept. Much like with the introverts need to become more extroverted issue, it is another representation of society’s unfair expectations of just how we should behave and act, so we are “more liked” rather than just being ourselves.

It also didn’t even seem to get the definition of socially anxiety quite right, as it seemed to be describing introversion more than anything, with the mention of “spending your nights at home alone instead of going out mingling”. Social Anxiety would be much more about fears of certain social situations, such as public speaking, interviews, worrying others are judging you, avoiding social events like parties out of fear rather than preference, and it should have been about how you can overcome these fears through certain strategies. It certainly should not be about how you should try and become “socially awesome”, as it is not about being socially confident/socially instead of socially anxious, but rather less socially anxious to the point you are able to manage these certain social situations better.

Social Anxiety may need overcoming if it is not doing someone any good or preventing them from progressing in life, but it definitely doesn’t need abandoning in exchange for being “Socially Awesome”. It is not about being more liked by people, but rather about how you manage these situations better yourself.

This is where the stigma and misconceptions of Social Anxiety being a “weakness” comes in. Despite the prevalence and pervasiveness of the issue, it is still frequently stigmatised. Often, it is misconceived as simply being “shyness” or “oversensitive”, and similar to the whole extroversion vs introversion matter, society often holds the outgoing and confident personality in far higher esteem than the more “quiet” and “shyer” personality. This results in those who struggle with social situations feeling like there is something “wrong” with them, and that they are simply “inadequate”.

Inferiority Complex is something I have often been prone to, frequently noticing society’s messages depicted throughout the media, social media etc. whether that be direct or indirect, on how to “be more extrovert/socially confident”. From being criticised for my “seeming too nervous”, “my speech being all over the place”, or “my lack of eye contact”, it is clear to me that this kind of anxiety and nervousness does not always go unobserved and unscrutinised. What can be a major challenge, is that when someone may already be feeling self-conscious enough as it is, worrying about how others are judging them for their every move, but when they actually get openly criticised by those people for displaying those common social anxiety traits, it can only harm them and their self-esteem all the more.

It’s the one thing I dread most about interview feedback, about how what I said might not have made much sense or to do with the way I said something, or my “lack of eye contact.” Even at university when we were doing a interviews as part of our assessment, we were told that we would be assessed by things like “eye contact” and “how we presented ourselves socially” rather than the kind of answers we gave. Well okay, we were obviously expected to give the right kind of answers, but it’s this focus, that the default is to appear more confident, even when it’s for a job interview that isn’t even very relevant to all these things, it is just the expected default that everyone is “neurotypical” and doesn’t have any additional needs or conditions when we are told stuff like this. At least that’s what it seems to me, and may do for many others.

In a world where we are constantly told to be “more extroverted” and “more socially confident” and “less sensitive”, but not ourselves, indeed we can only be ourselves, and say that if we need. Self-concept and individuality are important concepts, and should be embraced, rather than undermined, being told we are “inadequate” the way we are simply because we are not matching up to society’s expectations. Your individuality, even with all the flaws, is something that should be embraced, not dismissed.