Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Whew! That was a very difficult, heart-wrenching and intense read, to the point that while books are usually meant as an escape, I found myself needing an escape from this book and kind of wish I'd never read it now! It was so hard and painful to read, with just how dark and distressing it was, but nevertheless very compelling and most of all heartwarming!
Seeing the way Jane and Alice had both endured similar adversities, namely abuse from their fathers, and how they were brought together and connected the way they did was very fascinating and beautifully done. It was amazing seeing both their character developments, which was largely a result of the bond they formed with each other. I really liked seeing the way Jane developed as a character and how she came to love Alice, and it was incredibly heartwarming seeing that after having suffered severe emotional abuse from her father and never having had a loving home, with her father having abandoned her, and all at the mere age of 7, Alice finally finds the love and kindness she has long been lacking in Jane, Glen, Lil and Susan. Honestly though, more than anything my heart really went out to Alice, as it just really upset me seeing how much abuse, disruption and adversity the poor girl had endured at the mere age of 7, first having to suffer the severe emotional abuse from her father, then having had her father refuse to take her back, then having been badly bullied by both a member of staff and two of the children at the children's home, then having been adopted by a family who didn't care for her (except for the dad who was the only nice one but even so they didn't quite connect) and again having to suffer more shouting and abuse from her horrible adoptive mother (who by the way I'm not sure why decided to adopt her if she didn't take to her that much, as if she was so desperate for a child and couldn't conceive then couldn't she have just found another child to adopt?!), THEN she has a nervous breakdown and is sent to hospital, then finds out her dad is dead, THEN is kidnapped and almost dies on the very day she is supposed to be going to live with Jane, the only person she wants to be adopted by and something she has been longing for for so long. This is all within her short 7 years of life, and seeing how vulnerable, meek and quiet the poor little girl was made me so sad and heartbroken for her I just wanted to reach out and hug her and comfort her and take her away with me. Alice is only 7 years old yet already has a list of ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) longer than the length of my arm.
I thought as well that showing how vulnerable, traumatised children like that find animals very therapeutic to them and closely bond with them so well is very resonant and real, and beautiful to see how a poor child like that who is meek and troubled can thrive and come out of their shell from bonding with them. It's true that animals are the very best therapy.
But oh this really was a very hard and painful book to read, and definitely the most distressing and darkest I have read in a while and out of all RG's novels, even more than her Victorian novels, and I honestly felt like I was living it as I just got so emotional when reading it, finding tears in my eyes at the heartwarming and bittersweet scenes and moments with Alice and those who had shown the love and kindness to her that she was so lacking, such as Jane, Glen, Lil and Susan, along with how happy she was when spending time with them in their home and with the animals. The scene at the hospital was definitely a tear-jerker for sure. I also found my heart racing like crazy and my blood turn cold whenever Nora appeared, knowing that something terrible was going to happen. I just dread seeing her name on any page, and honestly I have to say that I don't think I've come across a more frightening and dangerous character in a book before, neither have I hated a character in a book or any piece of fiction for that matter as I have Nora. I just couldn't believe how sick and twisted not to mention extremely dangerous and deranged this woman who was working in a friggin' children's home too! It just made me so damn filled with anger and rage to see her bully Alice to cruelly the way she did, who was already very vulnerable and had suffered enough abuse and adversity in her life as it was! I HATED Nora with an absolute passion, and I realise she was clearly very mentally deranged but I still found it hard to pity her even for that, and wish she had been locked away in prison for life instead of a mental institution, even if she was supposed to be locked up for life. In fact that really annoyed me the way she didn't seem to get a sufficient comeuppance, as mentally deranged or not she frigging harmed a child, who she kidnapped and left to die, and who she had already been relentlessly bullying and abusing as cruelly as she could, and it annoyed me that after all she had done she wasn't shown being properly berated by the police or the housemother, and that they actually felt pity for her, even if it was just a little bit. Let's not forget that she was also a murderer too, having killed Alice's father, who while I certainly didn't mind seeing bumped off due to how cruel and emotionally abusive he was to Alice, you would have thought that murder along with child abduction (and leaving them to die) would have got a proper life sentence in prison. I realise that she was meant to spend the rest of her life locked up in the psychiatric unit, but even so it didn't seem like enough punishment to me, as it really should have been life in prison for her, or death. Most murderers are mentally deranged anyway, so by that logic we should feel pity for pretty much all murderers-and as for Nora's background of being a lonely, miserable spinster-Freudian excuse is no excuse, especially when it's as trivial as relationship problems.
Ugh I honest just felt my blood boil and steam coming out of my ears whenever Nora was shown scheming or bullying and abusing Alice, and it seemed ridiculous to me that the housemother, Julia, who was the polar opposite of Nora being very kind, gentle and understanding would still allow Nora to be on duty by herself and be with Alice by herself even when she'd already noticed how irrationally hateful she was towards Alice. That just really annoyed me, and I couldn't help but feel that as kind as Julia was, that she could be pretty useless when it came to knowing exactly what happened in the home, like one of the staff member's abusing and victimising one of the children, the most vulnerable and youngest child too. Not to mention her just leaving Nora to aggressively manhandle the poor child that time she was leaving. As much as I liked Julia, I couldn't help but feel really annoyed with her because of this. To be honest though it was rather interesting seeing as since this was the early 1960s that clearly safeguarding and child protection were nowhere near as strict then as they are now, as they didn't even have DBS checks of course, with all such rules and procedures clearly being far too lax and not reviewed thoroughly, as this was before the Safeguarding and Child Protection Act, and I don't think they were never big on policies back then. I guess it would be instances like this that would have triggered the need for DBS checks and the appropriate Safeguarding and Child Protection act and policies. I felt angry at Steven and Lisa to for the cruel way they bullied Alice, having been totally unprovoked too yet gone out the way to bully her, but they were nowhere near as bad as Nora, and at least they were shown to have some kind of remorse in the end at least and somewhat redeemable. Plus, they were children, and child-on-child bullying, while still cruel, does not compare to adult-on-child bullying, especially when its from a member of staff, and they were nowhere near as much of a threat as Nora of course, who was the real, central antagonist of the whole story. I hated Nora so much as well with just how incredibly relentless she was in making sure Alice's life would be ruined and that she would be unhappy. Evil scumbag. Don't think I've even hated anyone in real life as much as I've hated Nora, though at least Nora isn't real, though perhaps there has been members of staff in a care home treating children in a similar way in real life too, so scarily she's probably not all that unrealistic a character (though I'm not sure if they'd scheme so relentless in reality to for the same motive)
I felt so tense and upset when Alice was taken away to live with the upper-middle class, idealistic, well-to-do Webb family, and although the dad was nice, the mum went from being cold with Alice to downright horrible, as if she hadn't had enough of this in her life already. That was another thing that made me realise just how useless the whole system was and Julia at that, not to mention the Children's Officer (who was even mentioned as being newly qualified), as they even said that normally the adoption finalisation would go through the housemother, so you'd have thought that surely they'd have just waited 'til she got back rather than have another, less senior member of staff approve of it, as surely only the housemother would be authorised to do such a thing?! It's ridiculous, as you'd have thought that after having seen Nora's hateful bias towards Alice that such a thing wouldn't have been allowed, that she would have made sure that it a decision hadn't been made until the housemother had returned. You'd have thought as well that she would have fired or at least punished Nora after that. That and the fact they never give Alice a say in the whole thing, they just simply go by the Webbs' lies, even before the adoption is finalised (as obviously Nora was going to allow it to happen irregardless) and send her to live with them straight away. That Children's Officer also needed more friggin' training, even if she did do the right thing in the end. Even Mr Webb, despite being the only nice on of the family, pissed me off with his lies (though whether he was just henpecked or not by his wife is made unclear). Also why would Mrs Webb be so damn desperate for a child if she already has two?! Unless it was because she wanted a girl? I guess perhaps the system was depicted in this way, of being so useless and backwards on purpose, as I guess it's pretty realistic in a way. I hated Mrs Webb, who clearly didn't care about Alice from the start nor did she give a damn about her needs, and this is something that now would surely be vetted more carefully.
I think it was really interesting the way they showed the stark contrasts between what people superficially view as the ideal family for a child, being very idealistic, like the Webbs, who although may have seemed more qualified as parents and better off financially and status-wise than Jane had no love for her, especially not Mrs Webb, while Jane, who didn't possess their parenting skills nor was she as well off financially or in terms of property or material possessions and status, could provide her with the most important thing, which was a great deal of love and care. It really highlighted the differences between values that are very much superficial and on the surface from an upper-middle class family such as material possessions, two academic children, wealth, ballet lessons, fancy clothes, a big, posh house etc. and the values of a single woman who is from a working class background, not as financially well-off and doesn't possess the parenting skills or the material possessions or big fancy house, yet possesses the most deepest and meaningful of values, which is love and care for the child. That you would think would and should be the most important thing, but it shows us unfortunately just how superficial society is with its values of wealth and status over love and care.
I felt so anxious and upset when Alice had been adopted by the Webbs and throughout the climax, as I was started to think that all hope had been lost and that there would be no happy ending, but fortunately there was, as Alice does go to live with Jane in the end, who also marries Glen, with them both becoming adoptive parents to her, having both already been the much needed mother and father figure in her life that she had been sorely lacking. I have to say though that as heartwarming as the ending was with the epilogue and all, I'd have rather it just showed Alice alone with her new adoptive parents (and maybe Lil and Susan) rather than a birthday party with a load of other kids, as while it was great that she made more, new friends, the real focus of the story had been on Alice and her relationship with Jane, and to a somewhat lesser extent Glen (her father figure) and Lil (her grandma figure), so it would have been nice if we'd at least seen an emotional, heart-warming moment between them and Alice.
Still a very, very compelling and heartwarming read, but also equally heartwrenching and a major tearjerker that had me so absorbed and emotional I felt I was living it, feeling so emotional as if it was all real. However it was also a very difficult and painful read that takes a lot of emotional strength and courage to read, and with the distressing scenes and issues depicted throughout such as child abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, adult-on-child bullying and bullying.
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